Unhappy at Work: You May Have Outgrown Your Job.
You worked hard to build a career. For years, it gave you structure, purpose, even pride. But now, somewhere in your forties or fifties, it feels different. The job that once made sense feels empty, stressful, or just wrong.
If this is you, you are not alone. Many people in midlife find themselves dissatisfied at work, even if nothing obvious has changed. The truth is that the career you chose in your twenties or thirties may simply no longer fit the person you’ve become.
Outgrowing an Old Identity
When we start out, our career choices are often shaped by external factors: family expectations, financial security, and ideas about what counts as success. Many of us follow paths that already exist around us — a profession that runs in the family, something a parent encouraged, a role our friends were pursuing, or a version of success we absorbed from school, television, or later, social media. Few of us truly know ourselves in our twenties. We’re still forming an identity, still learning what matters to us, and still prioritising stability and belonging. So we choose roles that seem sensible, respectable, or simply available at the time.
By midlife, we’ve grown. We’ve lived long enough for our priorities to change, often in subtle yet deeply felt ways. Our values have shifted, even if we haven’t yet consciously named them. The identity that once felt like an achievement — something hard-won and externally affirmed — can now start to feel like a mask we keep wearing out of habit rather than choice. What once motivated us — climbing, proving ourselves, keeping everyone happy, doing the “right” thing — may no longer matter in the same way. And when we continue to live from an identity that no longer fits, the psyche lets us know, often through restlessness, dissatisfaction, or a growing sense that we’re living slightly out of alignment with ourselves.
This isn’t failure. Its growth. Outgrowing an old career is as natural as outgrowing old clothes; it’s just not talked about often enough or normalised.
The Symptoms of Career Misfit
Unhappiness at work can show up in many ways:
- Sunday dread before the week begins
- Constant fatigue or irritability
- Feeling disengaged, unmotivated, or cynical
- Fantasising about quitting but feeling trapped by obligations
These are not signs that you’re lazy or work shy. They’re signals that something deeper needs attention.
Why Midlife Brings This to a Head
Midlife is a developmental transition. Psychologist Carl Jung described it as the point when the psyche demands authenticity. The energy we once poured into building a career now insists on being redirected toward meaning.
This doesn’t mean everyone has to quit and start over. But it does mean you can no longer ignore the dissonance between who you are and what you do.
Reflection Questions
What values matter most to me now — and does my work honour them?
If money and status were no object, how would I want to spend my energy each day?
What parts of my work give me life, and which parts drain me?
Writing these down can clarify whether change is needed — and if so, what kind.
Choices at Midlife
For some, the answer is a full career shift. For others, it may mean redesigning your current role, setting boundaries, or finding fulfilment outside of work. What matters is moving from unconscious habit to conscious choice.
A Shared Human Experience
You are not broken for feeling unhappy at work. You are human. Midlife is a time when the psyche urges us to stop living on autopilot and start living more intentionally.
The second half of life needs to be lived differently from the first, and as we spend so much of our time at work, it’s only natural to question whether what we do there still resonates or feels purposeful.
If your old career no longer fits, it may be because your deeper truth is calling. Listening is the first step.
Why not take the Midlife Quiz to find out where you are in your midlife transition and how to support yourself.