Why Am I So Tired?

Why Am I So Tired at Midlife?

I hear this question a lot: ‘Why do I feel so flat, tired, and drained — even when everything “should” be fine?’ If you’re in midlife, this feeling is more common than you think. It’s not laziness, and it’s not just age.

Not everything is about your hormones, fitness, or diet (though those matter). Much of midlife tiredness comes from the mind: the rules you live by, the way you use your psychic energy, and whether the life you’ve built still aligns with who you’re becoming.

Let’s unpack what midlife fatigue really signals — and how to begin restoring your energy.

Energy is a messenger, not a flaw.

Psychologists describe energy as closely tied to meaning and engagement. Jung went further: he called it libido — not just sexual drive, but your whole life force, the current that animates your choices and direction.

When that current is blocked, diverted, or trapped in things that no longer nourish you, you feel depleted. That’s why so many people in midlife describe a constant tiredness that rest doesn’t fix.

The hidden drains on your energy

1. Living by old rules: We grow up with scripts like “always put others first” or “work harder to be enough.” In the first half of life, they help us succeed and feel a sense of belonging. But by midlife, these rules often start to backfire. Instead of fuelling you, they drain you — because they pull your energy away from what actually matters now.

2. Autopilot living: When you’re coasting through life, doing what’s expected without questioning or reflecting on what you truly want, it takes more psychic effort than you think. Suppressing boredom, ignoring discontent, and resisting your own desires is exhausting and often people will anaesthetise and distract themselves away from these feelings with work, alcohol or food.

3. Carrying everyone else’s load: Midlife often brings multiple responsibilities, including ageing parents, children, work, and community. The more other people’s needs consume your energy, the less is left for your own growth. That imbalance steadily depletes vitality.

When purpose starts to slip

Research shows that people with a clear sense of purpose recover more quickly from stress, sleep better, and maintain stronger motivation. But purpose shifts in midlife.

The things that once fuelled you — raising children, hitting career milestones, keeping others happy — may no longer give you the same spark. This isn’t failure; it’s development. It’s your psyche signalling that you need a new alignment between your life force and your values.

How to restore energy

• Reconnect with your “why.” Reflect on what feels alive for you now — not 20 years ago. Even naming three values you long to live by can reorient your energy.
• Take one value-aligned action. Just one small step toward creativity, freedom, or connection can be a reminder that you’re alive, have agency and can bring you hope.
• Challenge your stuckness. Thoughts like “it’s too late” or “this is just how it is” drain energy before you even act. Question them gently.
• Invite novelty. Curiosity refreshes energy. Try something new — a book, a class, a route. Novelty interrupts monotony.
• Seek meaningful connection. Being with people who reflect your true self restores vitality because it reminds you that you matter.

What gets in the way

• Purpose anxiety. Believing you must have one perfect purpose is paralysing. Think direction, not destiny.
• Perfectionism. Waiting until everything is lined up drains momentum. Small, messy steps matter more.
• Unacknowledged emotion. Grief, regret, or shame quietly sap energy. Naming them releases some of the drain.

Putting it together

If you feel drained at midlife, see it as information rather than a personal flaw. It likely means that what used to fit no longer does — and that your psyche is asking for an update.

Realigning life with who you are now in midlife starts to free up energy that’s been locked in outdated scripts and suppressed desires for far too long. As you do, fatigue begins to lift and hope and vitality return.

Energy grows where meaning flows. When you stop resisting what you truly long for, vitality follows. Take the Midlife Quiz to find out where you are in your midlife transition.